Is It Worth Living For ?

Once again, I'm at a point in my life where I go " Is this all I have to live for? ". Strange, weird... I know. I'm a very depressing and sulky kindda person. I don't make other people laugh or feel happy nor do I do those things to myself. Other people tend to stand out in a crowd but not me, I just blend in. I've noticed that there's this annoying little thing a like to do. I always complain that nobody's there for me... I've got no one to talk to... Every body's just pretending to like me because, I dunno.

Truth is, I KNOW that people are always there for me. Friends, family, L.S.K's, they've always been there but I guess I'm just too naive to see that because even if they are, my problems still remain. I KNOW that there are people out there whom I can talk to. Thing is I keep pushing them away because if they know whats going through my mind, I'm scared that they'll judge me I know that they'll judge me and they might come to their own conclusion, which is they'll think I'm crazy ( no secrets there, i know i am ).

And what if like someone elderly I know, I start to hallucinate on the slightest things. Or maybe come up with false and hurtful accusations about the people close to me. To those who are reading this, just let me be. I go through this stage quite often so, don't mind me. On a totally unrelated note, I'm gonna finish my English essay by 8pm today, which means I've got 6 more hours starting now.

Title :

Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn't’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Being me, naturally, I have to disagree XD

6 hours.

500 word essay.

Not very challenging, is it.

Because I Said So ?

Had replacement class in college last Saturday. Saturday's are all about snoozing till the afternoon and watching How I Met Your Mother marathon right after waking up if you ask me. Ms Shahidah let us off early then the few of us went to OneU to shop-! Lol.

First time fetching Ariel and Wen Yi with Bobby, and and and first time I drove so far harhar jakun sial. Gotta admit, I was pretty sleepy while driving at that time but I guess the fact that I know I've got passengers in the car, I'm responsible for their lives so... Sober up-!

Steamboat at Chong Qing ( omg its like the killer and my name... combine-! ) later that night to celebrate Gavin's so called "Birthday Dinner". Guys and girls sat separately because Jwen Stoner and Gavin claimed that they had guy stuff to talk about pfft. Talk about the government falsely advertising Malaysians live in co-existing harmony.

Them awesome people at the COOL table harhar.

The other half of the COOL table omg I'm catching Wei Mae's lame disease. Natasha had to leave earlier though.

Funny thing, the lady boss gave our table all the meat ( pork beef bacon ) and gave the other table none. But it wasn't our fault because we didn't knew and the guys didn't say anything hee. It's a real waste of money for me if I attend any buffet dinners because, I guess I'm quite picky with my food because I will never ever touch shelly pointy things and other stuff that look like aliens to me.

We all scream for ice cream-! Dropped Michelle, Ita and Shyerin off at pyramid because they wanted to catch a movie. *Sigh* it was a long, lonely drive home and zomg hungry ghost month-! Harhar yeah I'm paranoid like that.


Balik kampung during the weekends. Wanted to visit the grandmother because she just underwent some eye surgery. Man... It's tough growing old isn't it. I seriously can't imagine what I'll look like in 40 years time.

The best best best best wantan noodle on the face of the earth I'm telling you-! The restaurant is always packed somehow. Morning, afternoon, night, weekday, weekend you name it.

I'm so lazy to update any further at this point. But shall do it for the sake of L.S.K.

If I didn't knew any better, I'd say ducks have the most smelly butts compared to any other birds lol. I love the feeling of sticking your hands into the ducks, searching and scraping out their kidneys/lungs while still feeling tiny bits of icicles inside of them. Harhar. I'm rather sadistic aren't I.

Yay happynya first time doing it then dah jadi-! In yo face Bob. Being Aboyeur is fun XD Omg I'll have to wait till term6 to have another chance at it... Or maybe even never. Geez.

The result of 3 and a half hours of dodge ball. I really gotta learn how to love socks more.

Lost My Muchness Have I ?

Yeah that's what they keep telling me. Well, to be exact...

Situation #1

Me : Imma gonna buy fluffy things for my car when it comes-!

HJ : Omg don't be such a girl laa.

Me : But... I AM a girl.

HJ : Wwhhaatt? No... You're like a brother.

Situation #2

Az : Eh where you at? There's this girl...

Me : Babi at home laa.

Az : But, I wanna talk to her-! And if you're here then maybe she won't think that I'm some weird guy with no female friends. I need a wing man-!

Me : Dude Imma girl-!

Az : No, you're like... A brother.

*Sigh* need I say more?

Question, are guys really that dumb to the extend that they think females don't notice that you're staring at their boobs?! ( Not me haa, just saying ).

And here you are complaining why we never give you chances and what not but hello... We'd rather you communicate with us, like eye contact rather than talking to our boobs right. Gawd, do all guys really think with their dicks instead of their heads?

Yes? Well, go figure.

" Have I gone mad? "

" I'm afraid so. Absolutely bonkers even. But I'll tell you a secret, most of the best people are. "

If only I could turn back time and go back to yesterday *inserts heartbroken emoticon*

Garfield Is Da Man... I Really Meant Cat.

Had the worse day ever.

1. Woke up to find my hair in a complete mess. I'm not being a bimbo about my hair but seeing my hair like THAT ruins my mood in the morning. And if my mood is ruined in the morning, then it'll be ruined throughout the entire day.

2. Left the house 10min earlier than usual and yet I still manage to get stuck in the all time famous Summit jam. WTF.

3. While I was stuck there, petrol light kept blinking, like holey moley I was down to my last bar of stinking petrol. See I told my dad to go pump it the night before but noooooooooo, all he had to say was "haiyohh I'll pump it when it drops down to the last bar". WTF.

4. Of all the days I choose to wear a dress... A TUBE dress summore if I might add. It was too loose so it kept on falling down ( oh em gee damn obscene I had to keep pulling it back up ). WTF.

5. Screwed up RDOD Aussie presentation for buddha knows what reason. I'm usually not so jumpy but I was stuttering this time. Omg seriously it's not like its my first time presenting right. Even the others noticed that I'm way off today. WTF.

6. My dress today was apparently... Too short and informal. Damn sia sui can wearing dress to college for the first time then kena wardrobe malfunction and this. WTF.

7. Fcking jam on the way out from college. Traffic wasn't even moving. And petrol hampir nak habis remember. Fuck all them drivers who don't signal fuck fuck fuck fuck and fuck you. WTF.

8. Was super slow during French class just now. Couldn't concentrate for some reason and even Mr. Andre noticed. Great. Now he must think that I'm some kindda French idiot. WTF.

9. Just found out that I have to go to college at 7.15am when my class starts at 1pm. Why the monstrosity you ask? Well, it'll take me at least a millennium. to explain.

BUT...

Tell Me, Do You Feel The Way I Feel

For a Malaysian, I suck... Big time. I can't eat chili, or anything spicy for that matter.

Cooked carbonara for the monkey sister on Saturday. Not bad considering the fact that it was my first time trying this and I didn't have to throw it away woohoo rejoice-! Wanted to try plating it but alaa, mother was using the kitchen so like whatever.

Note to self, never use angel hair pasta ever again because the texture is like bihoon, I hate bihoon. Sister sais it was quite starchy but other than that tasted fine. Omg happy sial. Mum requested scrambled eggs with bacon for next Saturday's brekkie. Then Imma gonna try eggs benedict hee =)

Yesh I know I haven't been updating as much as I used to, but hey I've got 2 assignments and 2 assessments due this week... And another 2 assignments the week after this. Owh joy. Till then-!

I'm Full Of Bullshit

Yeah well, fail.

This week :

Wednesday - Dodgeball from 3pm - 6pm

Thursday - Commis from 6.30pm till whenever

- Dodgeball after commis till 10pm

Weekends - Finish RDOD, cost & purchasing and FO assignment

- Study for Stats midterm

I've been spending an awful amount of time out of the house lately. The hours I spend at college way more than the time I spend at home. Resolution for this week : GROUND MYSELF.

I Don't Know?

I bet I excel more at stalking than being a Hospitality Student.

Anyways, that's not the point. What I'm trying to prove here is how much of an asshole you are.

You're being awfully immature for someone who's elder than me and supposedly, I'm kindda childish? KINDDA?! Yeah fuck you.

If you think deleting the past makes you happier and if it helps you sleep better at night, then go ahead.

And just so you know, I hate sharing, whatever it may be. Wait, I don't think I'm being specific enough.

I HATE sharing. Especially if it's with OTHER GIRLS.

I'm not something you can just tag and then let go. And the whole world doesn't revolve around you, nor does it always go the way you want it to be. I feel sorry for you. Pity you even. I wish you all the best in life ( hmm or do I? ). After all, according to my *cards, you're never gonna live past 50.

2nd Bbq In 2 Weeks. Not Bad.

Met up with Jia Wen and Gavin at Hainan Kopitiam before going to Pyramid to get groceries. Both of them said my dad was cool. I don't appreciate the sarcasm guys. Ellen and Stoner arrived shortly after, and by "shortly after" i meant 45 min later... Then we headed off to Pyramid in Jia Wen's coffin car. Heh.

Shopped at Giant. Everything was so confusing at first because our dear host Ping Er didn't even knew what he wanted, or needed to buy. So Ellen and I took charge in the beginning because the boys were so unorganized. Followed Ping Er back to his place in Seiramas in a convoy after shopping. Fun =)

His house is... ZOMG. MY house looks like a "squatter house" compared to his, or as Zhi Yuen said "rumah papan" harhar. Ellen, Ella, Zhi Yuen and I helped buang the lemak of the chicken, washed it and then marinated it... With bbq sauce salt pepper paprika and TOMATO SAUCE like wtf?! Never heard before but Nigel assured us it would taste fine.

Got a bit bored after that so I suggested we go down the back lane for a little stroll. Back lane also damn nice one can?! Owh and again, the place was infested with my favourite insects... Mosquito's. Best part was I've sprayed insect repellent on myself twice but they keep coming at me, and the other's were safe. Like whhaatt?? Makes no sense. Either that or my blood's too sweet heh XP

After we came out of the back lane, every house that we passed by was like ooo, aaah, zomg, woah-! Harhar yeah. Fail laa if you don't get it.

Went back after that and started grilling the food-! Mmm nom nom nom.

Shyerin came too-! I love seeing Ita and Shyerin together somehow because even though Ita's elder, Shyerin zat's her like nobodies business. And it was fun seeing Ita drunk lol.

Before that, there were like 3 cars ( not including Ping's one ) following him back to his place. So all 16 of us arrived one shot. Needless to say his parents was quite shocked. And his dad went "woah, ya'll came in a bus?!". His dad is... Intimidating. Moving on-!

Wendy prepared her dunno paprika pasta or something, which tasted awesome-! Harhar she isn't that bad of a cook afterall. And if I'm not mistaken, Ella, Ita and a few others made potato gratin. Lol it was Ellen's and my idea to make it in the first place but we were grilling the food the whole time. Feel so bad now come to think of it.

Mr Adrian was invited to-! But all he ended up doing was cooking and cleaning I heard? Lol. Then someone jokingly said "Ping Er invited him to be his maid for the night...". That's ridiculous, we were all his maids for the night XD

Later that night they brought out the cake to celebrate Ping Er's birthday in advance, the actual day is tomorrow I think? The guys made a very smart move, they dunked his head inside the cake, like such a waste right?! And I heard it was expensive harhar. I see 3 couples and 1 soon-to-be-couple in the picture. Grr. I curse all the happy couples out there in the world-! Harumph.

Left at 11.30pmish. Garry sent Ariel and I back to her place. Yeah, sleepover at Ariel's again-! And this time we gossiped like there was no tomorrow weih. From guys, to past relationships... Failed relationships... And current ones XD Fun laa-!!

The father was so smart. Instead of picking me up at Tropicana, he went to wait at Suriamas because he thought I slept over at Michelle's condo-! Wtf right. Then he scolded me for not telling him specifically where I was staying. Like it's my fault?! I told my parents the day before that I was gonna stay over at my friends condo where we had the bbq at. Not specific enough ke?! Even my mum got it hello.

Whatever, frustration aside... Went to watch Salt with my dad ( omg I really cannot stand being alone with my dad dunno why ) at Pyramid. I hate Pyramid. But everything was okay after that because he bought something for me hee XD Don't call me materialistic, or shopaholic... Or spoilt. Whatever.

Having Barbie's By The Pool

Watched Inception with the Dude at OneU last Saturday. He said that this was the first time he had ever he planned to go out with someone for 2 weeks because he claims that I'm very "busy" lol. Yeah so he booked me in advance to make sure I don't ffk... Again.

Movie was good. Not awesome for me because I really hate movies that make you think further or go "hmm, is the place I'm living in even real?". Made me feel uncomfortable eee.

Starbucks always taste better when someone else treat's you XD

*Flashback* Ariel's bbq was the day after that and I didn't know where her condo was. I kept complaining how no one wants to fetch me there because dad's not at home and the mother doesn't wanna drive me there so in the end he volunteered to help me go hunt for the place. But ahah thanks to my awesome pwosome memory ( and not ur directions ahem ) I managed to find the place again the next day. Hee.


*Next day* BBQ'ing at I-Mei's place-! Picked Michelle from Suriamas before that. The both of us were the earliest, yeah well we thought we were the latest because Andrea and Car Yi was suppose to be there earlier to make tiramisu. BUT didn't because they didn't manage to buy the ingredients. Eee haven't eaten it in such a long time and during service class right... Ahh I'll mention it at the bottom =(

Ariel's dad helped start the fire for us in the beginning... Then we went to rendamkan our kaki's in the pool because the place was infested with bloody mosquitos grr.


Tadaah-! Ho mai gawd it took forever to cook the chicken wings. And by the time we ate it, it was too... Smoky? Lol. Yeah I know how some people like it that way but the taste of it was too smoky.

I-Mei, Yuen Ching and Hui Zhen eat their corn's raw. Like... Gross.

They like big butts and they cannot lie. I kid.

Love's the lau sai kawan's =)

Hui Zhen and I-Mei were freaked out by this picture of me because they claim I look like a ghost here, or the fat black witch octopus from Little Mermaid. Whichever harhar.

We want YOU. So call promoting "YOU Hotel" laa.

We even bbq'd the marsh mellows that Wei Mae brought and oooooo much loves can?! It poofed up until it's sorta crispy on the outside and sticky gooey on the inside. JC eat till damn sexy right...

Food. If my stomach could talk, it would've screamed " urgh imma gonna explode-!". Harhar. Wanted to jump into the pool after cleaning everything up but alaa it was raining and I-Mei didn't wanted to teman me.

On the way back up. We actually reached Ariel's floor but I still insisted on taking a picture. So Wen Yi had to stand outside of the life to snap this. Ariel, Michelle and I stayed up till 12am just to wait for the ITS portal to open harhar kiasu much?! But it wasn't. My 1st choice is Sheraton Langkawi btw. It was the only place that provided accommodation, allowance and uniform so yeah. Michelle too so hopefully we'll end up going together.

First service class of the term was stupendous-! Menu was potato & leek soup, steak served with potato gratin & sauteed french beans and dessert of the day which was I-dunno-what because Mich and I were at the stewarding area. ZOMG . Massive . Fire . When . I . Sauteed . 2 stations . Punya . French . Beans. lol.

I know right... Like finally Tiramisu-! But, it was for dunno who's service class. Shit laa.

Owh, watched The Exorcist at LT20 charity movie drive on Wednesday with Mich and Ellen. The girl was... Sigh I dunno. My mind really went blank after watching that. Stayed back for dodge ball on Thurs. Hurt my right hand, 3 fingers to be exact. Still can't wash my hair with both hands. Thanks Car Yi =)